'TIS THE SEASON

Yes, it’s that time of the year again! ‘tis the season for joy, gifting and personal reflection (as the new year fast approaches). With December/January being largely about connecting socially and celebrating, for someone who experiences depression all they may really want to do is basically make the right connections within their own brain. This would be a Christmas miracle, a real celebration and a half!

Whilst many manage to throw themselves into December with great passion, for some this time of the year heralds nothing but incredible challenge. If you’re familiar with depression, it’s the prime time for that ‘What’s your problem?’ question or that ‘Why can’t you just smile for once; why do you insist on bringing everyone down?’ query which, if you read between the lines, translates into a command or statement. Whilst this is supposed to be ‘the happiest time of the year’, this simple concept can tend to be somewhat of a trigger for an even deeper funk. The inability to feel that joy everyone speaks about can tend to leave one feeling even more dysfunctional than ever.

Whether this season has you reflecting on the anniversary of an event or trauma or has you contemplating all the pressures that can come with the end of the year, December/January is that time where we tend to measure much of our life. As mentioned, we can be measuring our level of mental dysfunction or we may be measuring our degree of wealth or poverty (having enough cash to buy the ‘right’ gifts for friends and family). We may measure the amount of ‘end of year’ functions slotted into our social calendar and our obligation to cope with them all or perhaps (if we’re of mature age) we may be reflecting on the number of friends or family who have passed away throughout the year. Maybe our subconscious need to measure relates to how well we’ve performed throughout the year as a human being (whether we’ve been naughty or nice) or maybe we are simply left thinking about how we’ve ‘let our self go’ over the previous months (having perhaps packed on a little weight). No matter what, we’re most likely going to measure the life out of life itself. It’s no coincidence that the happiest of people don’t often judge or measure things. By the way, don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re a measurer for there’s a good chance that you were mentally programmed to do so from a young age, you just simply may not recognise it. Do you ever remember counting the number of presents under the Christmas tree when you were a kid? I tell you, this terrible obsession starts when we’re quite young.

Now, I’m aware I may be sounding like a downer when it comes to the Christmas/New Year season but it’s time to get a little more real. If you experience depression, don’t be so hard on yourself during the festive season; try remembering the idea that there’s some fault in your brain that needs seeing to (whether it’s to do with chemistry and/or perception). In the meantime, if you want to cry, let loose and CRY! If you feel compelled to see this time of the year as a challenge, SEE IT AS A CHALLENGE because it may very well be! Just make sure you have some coping strategies in place so you can come to see yourself as ‘a champion who is trying their hardest to cope’. Remember, you are a champion and you are a warrior fighting a super tough battle that has taken the lives of many. Perhaps you can get together with some like-minded understanding people, who are experiencing the same challenging mental state. It’s amazing how ‘normal’ you can feel with the right support.

At the end of the day, it’s Christmas time and borderline New Year time NOT ‘everyone’s free of mental challenge’ time. I don’t believe there’s some magic doorway we enter through on the 25th of December and return through once the 1st of January comes to an end so, again, don’t be so hard on yourself whilst you’re in the world you’re in. By the way, feel free to ask some of those around you where the magic doorway is (you know those people who insist on telling you that you need to stop bringing everyone down). Maybe you can suggest they charge admittance whilst they’re at it. In other words, have a little fun with these people so as not to take their comments too personally.

Seeing it’s the season for giving, before I sign off I want you to reflect for a moment on one of the most precious gifts you have ever bestowed: You may have fought an incredibly tough battle all year, one that may have tempted you many times (to remove yourself from this life), yet you have chosen to give this world the gift of yourself. You have stayed. You have survived and I am so glad, for 2017 may be the year you get your miracle. 2017 may be the year you experience your own personal rising out of the depths of depression and the greatest tragedy in your life would be if you missed it.

Hang in, power on and be proud of yourself!