GUILT – A PART OF LIFE’S COMPASS

Have you ever had guilt just about eat you alive? You know that soul destroying feeling that has the potential to pull you deeper and deeper into the state of ongoing self-chastisement or self-hate; where thought alone can conjure up gut wrenching mind bending sensations within the physical self. Sounds intense, doesn’t it? It’s hard to deny, guilt can be a powerful emotion at times.

Given that how we associate with guilt goes toward shaping our personality, imagine taking the feelings that eat at us and making them work for us in a far more positive way. Just imagine if guilt could help us shape a far more positive identity. Imagine for a moment your feelings of guilt actually pushing you to ask one simple question and that is all – ‘Who do I want to be?’

Let’s say you are having to make a choice between helping a friend or facing your own mental breakdown, whilst being overwhelmed by a mountain of demands from the many people in your life – ‘I’ll feel guilty if I don’t drive my friend to his appointment but what am I meant to do?’ You bury your head in your hands as you struggle to make the ‘right’ choice. Who do you want to be – the person who drives him to his appointment, whilst driving yourself deeper into a state of stress, or the person who tells him how unwell you are feeling and how desperately you need a time out? Again, who do you want to be? I suggest you would want to be the self-respecting person who helps him find his own way, perhaps by catching a cab or phoning another friend or perhaps you can suggest rescheduling the appointment to a time where it suits the both of you. You manage to make a choice; you decide to be someone who cares for both your friend as well as yourself. You decide upon a positive identity in relation to the issue at hand, thanks to that one important question.

Maybe your guilt goes much deeper than simply not giving a friend a lift somewhere. Perhaps the guilt you feel involves you having seriously hurt someone you love. Once again, we have that question, ‘Who do I want to be?’ Do you wish to be someone filled with ongoing self-hate or do you wish to make amends for such a thing? Remember, the question is not ‘Who do I want to continue being?’ but ‘Who do I want to be?’ It is a phrase which leaves you no choice but the look to the future, addressing any opportunity when it comes to atoning for your ways and changing direction.

Guilt is really nothing other than a SIGNPOST on life’s path. Guilt is where we face the opportunity to become more conscious, to change course if we so wish. Do you wish to be someone who continues down the same self-destructive path or someone who chooses a new path in life? Do you wish to walk the path of self-forgiveness or that terrible path of self-chastisement? Remember, ‘forgiving’ involves moving FORward through the act of GIVING release from negative thoughts and emotion. Self-forgiveness allows you the freedom to become the person you truly wish to be, giving your all to this world (not just some shattered version of yourself).

Basically, guilt should not exist for the purpose of sufferance. Guilt exists for the purpose of evolution, otherwise we are left to wallow and stagnate and human beings are not designed for such a fate. We are designed to evolve, to move forward, therefor looking back can often become nothing but a futile exercise involving a complete waste of energy in some cases.

So, who do YOU want to be in the grand scheme of things? What is guilt asking you to address? What signs are presenting themselves in your life in the guise of guilt? Is it time to STOP and consider taking a DETOUR toward the best possible path? Perhaps it is simply time to GIVE WAY to a new and much healthier way of viewing certain aspects of your life.

The next time you are left facing guilt of some nature, remember to ask yourself one important question – WHO DO I WANT TO BE FROM THIS MOMENT ONWARDS? And remember to keep in mind, HOW we associate with guilt goes toward shaping who we become.